What I learned about Pandas

Hi Everyone! I hope you all had/are having a wonderful Easter! And a shout out to Meag, who at least commented on my blog, even if she didn't know why wetlands filter water. That's okay Meag, you were still the only person awesome enough to write anything (threatening gestures to the rest of you slackers...)

Anywho, about wetlands. They filter water because they are amazing. Just kidding. Really, they're like giant land sponges. The soils drain very poorly and they're usually pretty sandy/loamy. That means when water runs through it, most of the larger impurities are either filtered out by the soil, or taken up by the wetland plants as fertilizer (see: Tomatoes). Basically, they're Nature's answer to a Brita pitcher...but with more plants (hopefully. Believe me people, clean your Brita filters...don't make the same mistake I did). Essentially, Wetlands = My favorite partially inundated landscape. Also, if its a wetland in the US, and is located somewhere to the south of Pennsylvania and to the north of Florida, it probably contains wild rice, which is delicious.

So....Learning tale time! I know, I know, you've been waiting all week, right?

So this week, I want to tell you about Panda's

Pandas: The Trick Nature Played

That's right, when it comes to the panda nature is basically messing with our heads. It looks like a bear...it walks like a bear...it makes those weird grunt noises like a bear, so its a bear, right? Wrong! A panda is not a bear. So what the h@#& is it? Well...that's not the easiest question to answer. It is in the bear family (Ursidae) But it's not really a bear. In fact, it belongs to the genus Ailuropoda. Before you ask, I have no idea what the genus Ailuropoda is, because the Panda is the only living creature that belongs to it. That's right, the Panda is all alone, it's the very last member of its genus. I feel bad for the panda, but it probably gives it an edge over all the other critters of the earth. You know, kinda like those college students who get together and complain
"Yeah, well, I was up till two last night"
"Oh, two? Well, must be nice, I got in bed at four."
"Yeah, well, I don't sleep!"
You know those students? Well with pandas its probably better, kinda like this...
"Well you think your day's bad? I'M THE LAST MEMBER OF MY GENUS!"

Score one for the pandas.

But they get even cooler. Really, I swear! Turns out the panda only recently went vegetarian. True story! They're digestive tract are evolved to eat meat, and yet they eat bamboo. Those crazy critters, they can only digest about 17% of what they take in. So they have to eat all the time! Seriously guys...go eat a squirrel or something. My theory is, the panda realized that it was the last of its kind and decided it needed to go on one of those heart healthy diets to increase its longevity. Or maybe bamboo just tastes good. Who knows? Only people crazy enough to go gnaw on some bamboo stalks.

So that's my learning tale for the week. Pandas are definitely some of my favorite animals now. They rock hardcore.

Hope you all have a wonderful week. I will leave you with this question (its a little foreshadowing for my next learning tale. It's awesome, I swear)

Environmental Question: How long does a male emperor penguin go without eating?

People of the Phillipines!

I have returned! Rally to me!

~MacArthur (don't even get me started on him)

Let me apologize, from the very depths of my being, for not blogging in so long. Tragically, I cannot even say that I was doing something cool, like sitting in a tree (although part of my time away probably has been spent in one tree or another).

So. It's been awhile my friends. So I'll make up for it by putting up a Get Green Tip AND and an environmental learning tale. You just won the lottery! Except you don't get any money.

Okay: Get Green Tip time!

This is both a tip AND a commercial for one of my favorite soap products. At home, we have tons and tons of trouble with ants. So we thought about getting rid of them by spraying some noxious chemicals all over the kitchen where we eat and prepare our meals. But then we decided we didn't feel like dying of cancer, or suddenly growing third arms from our stomachs. Although I did contend that the third arm would help with cleaning. Enter Dr. Bronner's liquid peppermint soap! (Note: Soap must be peppermint)

*Heroic Music*

While I have not yet implemented this at home, I have on good authority that it works. All you do it take a little soap and put it on a sponge (so far so good? If you can't put soap on a sponge please go to www.gobacktokindergarten.com) Then take the sponge and wipe all the window sills in your house, also get a mop and run it around the perimeter of all the ground floor rooms. And...presto! No more ants! I guess ants hate the smell of peppermint. Silly ants...they can never have Junior Mints.

So that's my tip. What that will do, besides getting rid of your ant problem, will enable you not to use chemical sprays. Those things deposit some spooky stuff in our water supply. Trust me people, I've tested local streams. Yeesh. I want all of you to promise me you wont swim in the Chester River. (If you don't live locally or in Philadelphia, I can't tell you what your water is like. Use your own judgment. Except for Brenna and Meag. You two...no swimming in the Chicago River. I have a bad feeling about that green dye...).

So there you go!

And here's my Environmental Learning Tale. It's just my favorite story ever and it goes nicely with my previous discussion of water supplies.

Endangered Tomatoes?

Here you go. Once upon a time there was a Waste Water Treatment Facility that was just tired of being like all of the other waste water treatment facilities. It wanted to be different, it wanted to rebel. This should be reminded everyone of college. Anyway, it decided to become more environmentally conscious. So it contacted some local environmentalists (who were so happy they constructed a to scale model of the facility out of cake and delivered it one sunny afternoon. They later came out of the cake when everyone was asleep and replaced all of the light bulbs in the building with Energy Star, but that's another story).

So the Environmentalists considered The Waste Water Treatment Facility's problem, and here is what they told told them to do:

"Taketh all of thy minions and construct thyseslf a wetland. This wetland shalt be thy pride and joy, and through it thou shalt filter all thy waste water, which the wet land shall maketh clean. Then thou shalt useth fewer chemicals."

The Waste Water Treatment Facility was happy. They built their wetland and filtered the water through it, and sure enough it came out much cleaner. As a result they had to use fewer chemicals to kill what bacteria remained. And all were happy.

Things went this way for about a year, but then, come summer, the Waste Water Treatment Facility began to notice something strange. In the constructed wetland, as far as they eye could see, beautiful tomato plants began to grow. There were some who said that the tomato plants were a sign that the gods were smiling down upon the treatment facility. Others, however, said that the tomatoes had become sentient and were plotting to overthrow the government. No one knew for sure.

So they went back to the Environmentalists, who told them where the tomatoes had come from. Here's what happened.

As people ate the tomatoes grown in the surrounding counties, the seeds passed through them undigested. The seeds then went on a magical journey which I will not describe. Then, when the water was filtered through the wetland, the seeds were planted! And then they grew!

Needless to say, the plants were beautiful, but no one would eat them. They grow there still, the first and only unofficial tomato preserve in America.

Well everyone, I hope that makes up for my long absence. Here is your question for the week

Environmental Question: Why do wetlands filter water?

Hope everyone has a wonderful week!